Ok, ok, everyone say CHRIST is coming back!?--so, when and where---I am getting alittle bored?

I've got my dark sungles, lawn chair, and cheap spiritual wine. someone sold me some CHRIST IS APPEARING TICKETS but it gives me no set time, is he bringing great sound, lighting awesome stage antics? from history till present-people have spouted his forthcoming--well, cmon - I hear there is not much time left.